Uncertainty is Life.  I could stop there, but I don’t want to make it too easy on you. We live with uncertainty every day, hour, minute, second. Will that big ass truck coming up fast behind me see the stop light I’m stopped at? Will I get that job? Or more likely these days, will I lose the job I have? (Sigh, Yes) Is that scruffy guy behind you a stone-cold psycho killer cum bank robber, or a sweet, down on his luck homeless guy waiting to cash in the coins he’s collected so he can get a good meal and should you help him out? Will that  hidden aneurism in your brain pop NOW….or Now….or…. maybe…NOW! It  happens.

Religion is all about uncertainty, and passing the collection plate. What happens when you’re dead? Heaven, Hell, nothing, reincarnation, your soul(?) shot into space,  or maybe put in some sort of purgatorial stasis until you can be recycled? Life may be uncertain, but if you believe, HALLELUJAH! hard enough, your afterlife is locked in with all the young virgins or male models you can…well, you get the idea.  But only if you believe in the right God(s) in the right way. Then you’re in. If you don’t, then you’re out, and you’re in BIG trouble when it all comes tumbling down. That’s for certain.

Making the uncertain, certain is a lucrative business. You don’t even have to be right all the time, just ask any TV weather person. If it wasn’t a well-paying gig there wouldn’t be so many stock analysts, financial consultants, horse racing touts, psychics, real estate analysts (your house value is only going to go up, Baby), weather forecasters, and con artists. You can mix and match in that list, at the very least add con artist to any of them. (Apologies to the weather people. You have a hard gig and reap your share of scorn, and get paid well for it.  I am ashamed) “Uncertain of the return on your hard-earned retirement money? I will make certain you will receive an unbelievable return on your investment if you just give all your money to me.” I think that’s how it works. I’ll have to check with  Bernie M when he gets out of jail.  

The only thing for certain, is uncertainty. And if anybody tells you otherwise, especially if money’s involved, make that certain decision to walk away. Death being the exception. But if you figure out how to walk away from that, let me know. For sure!


What if, you were certain you knew what was going to happen in a particular area and unlike those listed above you were right, always. What would you do with that knowledge? Keep it to yourself, make tons of money, then chuckle and wallow in excess while thumbing your nose at that piker Bill Gates? Would you make a little something for yourself then use your certain knowledge to help others? Would use it gain power over others, like that father-in-law who kept telling your spouse that that bum/bumette would never amount to anything? Or over a business or country? And what difference would it make whether you could or couldn’t  change the future you knew was coming?

What if you were a very decisive person always certain of your decisions, sometimes right, sometimes wrong, but you made your choices and stuck to them. But what if you made a decision that inadvertently harmed someone and they, or a hired witch/warlock, put a curse on you and your decisiveness slowly went away. Over days or weeks your certainty withered until which pair of black socks to wear froze you with uncertainty. How would this affect your work, family, life? What if you had a spouse or kid who was as indecisive and wishy-washy as you weren’t. Would they rise to the occasion, push away their uncertainty and go after who or whatever cursed you?

What if you actually understood Heisenburg’s (The physicist not the one on Breaking Bad, one of the BEST TV shows) Uncertainty Principle? What if you, and only you, could accurately determine the position and momentum of a particle at the same time? Would you be able to somehow translate this ability into an interstellar drive that would push us into the Star Trek phase of human development? I haven’t a clue. Do you?

What if you were uncertain if your wife  was cheating so you went to Mystic Sarah to have her look into her crystal ball and find out the truth, which was Yes, she is cheating. But, even worse she’s cheating with Sorcerer Sam, Sarah’s competitor, enemy, ex-husband who has a tendency to work the Dark Side. And even worse, Sarah still has a bit of a thing for Sam. Certainly, hilarity or mayhem or both will ensue.

No uncertainty here. That’s it for this week. Fer sure, man!


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