Vamps in Hell?

In my last post I asked for thoughts on what the “Rules” would be for vampires in Hell. I got a couple interesting responses, but now that I’m actually writing, well revising, the story that has vampires in Hell I’d like more ideas. Come on, what’s your first thought? If you were a vampire and visited Hell, for work, not pleasure, what do you think the obstacles, or advantages would be?

In Blood Justice, which will be out on Oct. 1, the vamps have about a half hour max of sun light before they’re dust.  There’s no sun down there so can a Vamp walk around “Outside” with impunity?  And what about here in Life? It’s pretty well accepted that they can’t go into the sunshine. Is that because the ultraviolet rays destabalize certain chemicals in the skin which react with the new vamp enzymes which which makes the blood flammable? Or is it because they spend so much time in the dark they lose the protective melanane in their skin and they die of a bad sunburn? What if they went outside for maybe ten minutes at a time and got a nice tan. Would that help? If vampires ever come out of the closet maybe an entrepeneur could set up Vampire tanning salons. Just think, Vamps in the Sun Tanning Salons,  open 24 hours. A million dollar idea if ever there was one.

What if a vampire wanted to enter your house but you didn’t invite him or her in? What would happen if they tried? Would they hit a force field that might shock them with a spray of supernatural sparks? Maybe a force field that was just – there. Maybe they could enter anyway, but within say, a minute, they grow weak, drop to their knees,  and are unable to move, at the mercy of you. But enough time to attack you and crawl back out the door. Don’t stand too close to that door when the vamps come knocking! Maybe if they enter without permission they become sick; cramps, pain, vomiting and other ways of discharging various bodily fluids, until they disintegrate into a gooey mass, or, if you live in Buffy world, an instant pile of dust. I’m told that the movie, Let The Last One In, has the answer. I haven’t seen it yet, though it’s high on my list.

So if a vampire went to Hell on purpose to do a good deed, it could happen, would Hell consider him or her as a human or a soul, or an other? I say Vampires should be considered human, not some undead beasts. They act in their own self interest and don’t give a damn about anybody else or the consequences of their actions. What could be more human than that?


What if you die and awaken as a vampire. You’re dead. Your soul has gone to Heaven because you were a good person. So, you have no soul, but you’re still up and walking round and thinking. You should be able to come and go to Hell or Heaven as you please. Therefore, you’d be the perfect person to go either place and gather information about crimes from the dead bad guys in Hell or dead good guy witnesses in Heaven.  Maybe in the near future such information and testimoney would be accepted by the courts. You’d work for the Dead Witness Information and Testimony (DWIT) division of the US Marshell’s office. If you went up to Heaven maybe you could have a chat with your’ own soul. Maybe work with yourself.  Good pay, travel to exotic places, meet interesting beings, and as long as you didn’t get your head cut off, long term employment. What a deal.

What if a vampire used  the no entry without an invite rule to commit a murder. I don’t have it worked out yet, but maybe there’s  something like a flexible force field (think ballon)  at the door. A vamp can push into the field, stretching it into the house.   The victim comes to the door, sees who is, says no entry and backs away. The vamp pushes in, grabs the victim and breaks his neck. The field forces him out of the house, it also keeps him from touching th floor. The carpet on the floor has just been vacumed. The victim is found in the middle of a freshly vacumed carpet with no footprints on it. Sort of a locked door mystery. I’ll let you figure out how the hero Detective figures out how it was done.


One Response to “Vamps in Hell?”

  1. This comment is an overall one, not just pertaining to this post.
    I . Love . This . Place.
    I simply do. Loads of ideas, material to hog, and yes more material to hog some more!
    Great effort–loved everything here.
    I couldn’t read the whole blog in one go, but I am saving the rest for the days to come.
    Thank you for the shiny brilliance you exhibit.


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