My Earth, All Mine

“Happy Holidays?”  Had enough merriment and good cheer? Tired of  “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year?” Too much generosity and good cheer for you? How about some doom and gloom? This is the time when loners feel their lonesome the most. Give them a little love.

So there’s loners and there’s LONERS. What if you were in the latter group and you didn’t want to be just left alone in your cabin in the woods or your little apartment in the city. You wanted to be the only human on Earth. How would you go about it?earthmine

You’d want to consult with Gaia first. I’m sure she’d be glad to be rid of the human pests, but you wouldn’t want to piss her off by screwing with her plans for us, would you?

I’m not talking about evil super villains who want to have all the money and rule the world.  They need people to lord it over. The same with religious fanatics. They need people to listen to them preach doom and gloom, fire and brimstone, and you’d better have sex with me or God’s going to be mad at you. And political despots. They need somebody to enslave, harangue, and be paranoid about. Without people they’re just crazy dudes ranting at themselves.

The main problem of eliminating humans from the planet is getting rid of them without killing yourself. What good is having a planet of your own if you’re too dead to enjoy it? Inciting a nuclear war probably isn’t so easy now days. And if you could, say, obtain the launch codes for all the missiles in the US or Russia and set them all off and create a full on nuclear winter killing most everything that lives, that doesn’t sound very agreeable. If you’re going to be alone, having warm, secluded beaches or pleasant woodland walks would be a necessity. Whether 8 billion people crowd the planet or none, what difference would it make if you’re shut in your bomb shelter for the next 1000 years?

Mosquitoes are your friends. They inhabit all the earth except Antarctica. They infect hundreds of millionsmosie1 and kill millions every year. All you’d have to do is cook up a big batch of a human specific virus or bacteria, infect  a few million mosquito eggs, and distribute them around some of the busiest airports. Within days of hatching, your personal little pandemic would have spread throughout the world. Then, all you’d have to do is sit back with your beach towel and umbrella in hand and wait for the beach to clear out. Assuming you thought to immunize yourself against your private plague.

Or, you might want to learn how to sail before hand. Once you let the little monsters loose a long cruise into the ocean while the sun, bacteria, insects, and animals dispose of the dead would be nice. If you’re smart, and watched too many horror movies, you made sure that the dead stayed dead.  It wouldn’t do to come back to shore and bezombieblog2 greeted by a few billion hungry Zombies. That could be just as bothersome as a few billion regular folks. Vampires could be a problem. There’re already dead and they’d be really hungry. Better stock up on holy water, silver bullets and learn how to use a svampblogword.

Of course, with humans gone the world will start fixing all the damage we’ve done to it. This includes the return of wildlife. I imagine Bigfoot will sigh with relief not to have all those little humans stalking him with cameras. With small wildlife expansion comes the revival of the big predators; bears, big cats, wolves and the like. So, while you relax on that empty beach best keep an eye out. Those big cats only respect you for your food value, not your desire for solitude.catsblog4 wolfcatsblog2

IDEAS

What If? there really was (there probably is, tucked away in some government vault)  a virus/ bacteria that was capable of wiping humans from the planet? Then some group in a simple steal it/ransom it operation successfully steals it. But, just before they were to get their millions, one of their own, a stealth religious fanatic, steals it from them for his own highly misguided, God, Jesus, Mary Magdalene-told-me-to- do-it  cleanse the earth scheme. Suddenly the bad guys and the good guys have to work together to save all of humanity. Of course the good guy leader is an attractive woman, and the second in command bad guy is an attractive man (or vice versa) and they have to work together, close together.

What If? somebody did wipe humanity from the planet and  was enjoying their solitude when he/she came across a group of aliens intent on taking over the Earth. Well, he went to a lot of trouble to depopulate the world so now he has to fight the aliens for the planet.  He wins and once again enjoys his solitude when a group of astronauts who have been on a long space journey returns. Our single inhabitant sighs, “Can’t a guy get a little peace and quiet on his private beach?” A series for sure.beach2

What If? you were in a group of astronauts returning from a long mission and you found the only survivor of the Great Plague that wiped out humanity. You fight him at first, but he/she kidnaps one of your people and finally decides you can stay. But, the nasty bug is still around and the only way you will survive is if he gives you the vaccine, but it’s across the country and you may or may not have time to get there. Who will survive the journey? Surely not Adam and Eve – that would be too cheesy.

So, whether you’re a loner alone or a loner in a crowd find a bit of Christmas spirit and don’t vanish humanity, at least until after New Years.

Check out and share my first attempt at a book trailer for my story Heartbreak – http://youtu.be/NNLTJNUgYHs

My website (such as it is) with information on my books and stories is: http://dcburtonwriting.wordpress.com

Feel free to comment and Please share.

dcburtonjr@gmail.com

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Destruction + six

Destruction is the brother of Dream in Neil Gamin’s legendary Sandman series of graphic novels.

Destruction means everything or nothing. It depends on what skewed  viewpoint you’re looking from. In the story I’m writing now, (not right this second, because I’m at a point where I know the grand scheme of the thing but am not sure of the details so I’m writing this instead hoping the details will come in a dream or some such thing that avoids my having to actually figure it out for myself) a sequel to An Accidental Vampire which is doing very well, thank you very much, on Smashwords.com and KOBO, it’s almost (there’s some sex and violence, too)all about certain people out to destroy a particular person.

So for the group, the destruction of the man is a good thing as it allows them to get what they want. For the man, not so good, as he’ll be dead, with no vampire to save him. On the other hand, The Novice Vampire, (the probable title) Simone Gireaux, besides attempting  to learn how to survive as a vamp, is trying to figure out who the group is and destroy them. Her viewpoint is just the opposite of the group. Like most things, destruction has two sides.

While “Destruction” is usually considered a bad thing, it isn’t always. Consider the Nazis, or polio or smallpox or disco. Nobody sane wants those undestructed.  Sure, destruction can bring tragedy with it, but if “Death” is considered a form of destruction,  imagine if nobody died. Where would we put all those immortals? (see IDEAS below.) What if everything ever built – every cheaply built tenement, outmoded factory, monument, vehicle –  was still standing, running, or lying around in trash heaps two hundred feet high. You could probably build a stairway to the stars with the beer cans alone.

Self-destruction, while mostly a preventable tragedy if someone was paying attention, could, under certain circumstances, also be called Death With Dignity if certain people would butt out and allow it to happen in the dignified manner it deserves.

In my upcoming (as soon as my novice French vampire sorts everything out) novel Ancient Mariners two characters and their old ways die, not voluntarily, to make way for the new ways.  And so it goes, old ways, old things, old buildings, and most times unfortunately,  old people, must destruct to make way for the new. Being new doesn’t mean being good. That’s how evolution works, everything gets a chance.  If it works, it survives. If it doesn’t, destruction will rain down on your head.

IDEAS

What if nobody died, but continued to be born? Where would they go? Up or down? The possibilities are, if not endless, multiple. Sub-plots abound!

Going down. Digging caves and mines into the ground, deeper and deeper. Who knows what we might find?  Underwater, deeper and farther from shore with all its dangers and dramas, human, creature or natural. Who gets to live where? Where would the prefered neighborhood be? What conflicts might come to the deep dark? What destruction might they inflict on those weird bastards in Bubble 34 or Tunnel 28? You know that would happen.

What if everyone wanted to live underwater or underground and after a century or two nobody lived on the surface to see aliens land, thinking it’s a pretty nice planet, so they move in. What happens when they discover each other? Who destroys who? You know they would try. Unless some other not so nice aliens came along and the two Earth residents had to band together to fight their mutual destruction.

Going up. Population pressure forces migration. Space is the place. What if our big plans to migrate off world were destroyed by Aliens who did not want such a violent species banging about the galaxy? They didn’t interfere with us in any way except we were under house arrest. How would that work out? Who would step up to make an attempt to bust the blockade? Governments, corporations, individuals? What slimy, traitor sons of a bitches would work with the Aliens in return for special favors, that may or may not be what they promise?

What if the above blockade could not be broken and the population swelled and swelled till finally it reached critical mass and all humans became one Earth mind, the Mind of Gaia, so powerful they could destruct the Alien ships. So powerful we didn’t need ships, we could move the Earth itself.  And go find their planet. What if, humans being humans, some wanted control and then some others wanted control and the factions started to duke it out and suddenly they were not working together and became stranded in the literal Middle of Nowhere and they’d better start working together because they were drifting into a star where they would of course be very deconstructed. A bad thing for Earth, a good thing for the Aliens who were surreptitiously helping things along.

What if you wanted to destroy someone’s marriage, but your natural charm, wit, beauty, sexiness or deviousness wasn’t working? Maybe you’d go see that psychic palm reader just on the outside edge of town who might say yes they can help if only you’d do one little favor for them. And in doing that little favor that didn’t really seem so much you quickly find that you have much more to worry about than the destruction of some nice people’s marriage.

What if you were a  well-meaning, in your own warped mind, Sorcerer and you could capture the souls of suicides with the thought of since they wanted, at the time, to die, they’d make good cannon fodder, bombers, henchmen, puppets if you put their souls into regular people in a position to do your dirty work for you. Might work out until a few of them decided they hadn’t really wanted to die and in order to live again they had to destroy you. The title, The Suicide Wars comes to mind.

Any story, especially movies, that blows a lot of shit up, is good.

Any psycho, pyro, manic who blows shit up for the purpose of the destruction of life, property, or ideals, is not good. And therefore worthy of destruction themselves.

Without destruction, what have we? Sometimes good, sometimes bad, Destruction, like time, marches on, clearing the way for the new yet soon-to-be-old, sometimes causing tragedy, sometimes relief, but always a story.

P.S.

Read an e-book week is coming up. I have some to offer. Check them out over on the right there.

P.P.S

I’m looking for a photo or design of some sort to use as a header for this blog. Something that will catch the eye and represent What If? Ideas welcome.